“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal someone else” Iyanla Vanzant
I’m proud to be a woman. Not that I think that women are better than men. I don’t believe that at all. But we are different. If men are physically stronger, we are the emotional powerhouses of our species. We rock it when it comes to emotions; we get them, we work through them and we help others deal with theirs.
We are emotionally intelligent creatures. It is part of our birthright and down the ages we have come together in circles to share that emotional intelligence, tell our stories of pain and pleasure which in turn helps others. The ones that came before us would educate those yet to walk the feminine path, not by directing which is a masculine trait but by sharing experiences which is the feminine way.
The wise women in society were valued and revered for the knowledge they could pass to the young. Yet society has changed. There is a sense that where women once collaborated, society has stepped in and competition now thrives.
It’s all about keeping up with the Jones and how we are outwardly perceived. Youth is valued over experience, beauty over knowledge and material wealth over creative and spiritual happiness. Whereas a woman would have been revered for her experiences, her emotional battle scars and the wealth of knowledge she carried, she is now subjected to a barrage of criticism for aging, her body size, for not being perfect, for not having the right clothes and on and on. We have a population of wise women who are made to feel inadequate, unworthy and ready for the knackers yard when this is far from the truth. Those wise women are weakened by society when they should be the ones leading society!
This quest for perfection that we are subjected to leaves a woman in fear of showing her wounds, telling her stories and allowing herself to heal and therefore heal others. We are expected to live with a mask to keep up appearances for fear we might be negatively labelled and criticised. We are forced to be outwardly fake and the mask only serves to create a barrier, keeping us from healing our wounds.
From my own experience, I had perfected the mask up until two/three years ago until I couldn’t stand it any longer and finally threw it off. The last few years have been a journey of tending to my wounds, listening to my own story, telling others and finally starting to own it. And during that time I have been humbled to listen and create space for other women to share theirs.
A strange thing happens when a woman opens up and speaks about her wounds, her story. I almost sense a drop down in the energy and suppose it is. We go into the underworld of the woman’s soul, the place where her secrets are kept. It’s a humbling experience. It almost feels as if the woman has entered a different awareness as she sifts through her memory box and speaks of her fears, her hopes and desires. She doesn’t need solutions, she just needs the space and by telling her story, you can guarantee that the woman listening or reading relates and unlocks something in her own memory box.
It is time for women to realise that we all have wounds; we are all battle scarred emotionally. Not just from our lives but from the collective wounds all woman have from living in a patriarchal society. And it really is ok not to be ok, we don’t need to keep up the pretence, the crying alone, the feeling alone because of the barrier, the mask we have around us to fit in and behave “normal”.
But the gift of collaboration is not going to be handed to us. We have to be prepared to drop the mask and this is where the Wild Woman Community comes in. We already have a growing number of contributors who are baring their souls, showing us their battle scars and sharing the knowledge they have gained from their experiences. By sharing their stories, they are dropping their masks one bit at a time, healing themselves and hopefully helping the readers to do the same.
I receive many emails from our fans sharing their stories with me. Not for consumption on the website, it’s too raw for them. They feel they can’t drop the pretence with those around them but have a great need to tell someone and that’s what we hope to change.
Through the writers who share with us, we will lead the way in showing that it’s ok not to be ok. That your stories make you who you are, not what other people think. That you are gloriously good enough being perfectly, imperfect (to coin a phrase from Nikkie Hockenberry, one of our contributors).
The most comforting words in the world are “me too” and we intend to show you that you are not alone, you do have a circle of women around you albeit in digital land. But a circle you can visit anytime to listen to other people’s stories and even tell your own. To know that you are not alone! This will be a Community that is powered by everyday extraordinary women who are just like you and me.
Every woman is welcome to be a contributor. Even if you don’t feel you could write your story, I’m sure that either I or one of the contributors would gladly do it for you.
So collaboration not competition is the cornerstone of this Community and there will be healing in the telling and much, much more as time goes on!
You can visit the Wild Woman Community
Samantha is a Non-Practising Lawyer, Life Coach, Energy Healer and Writer. She is the Founder of the Wild Woman Community